PROTEST AGAINST DOWRY

I have finally decided to set the record straight. Everywhere I go people don’t seem to hide their concerns as to why I remain unmarried even as I approach the prime age of 40. I have tried to dodge this question for long but this has further heightened speculations. Some people think I have a serious health problem while others attribute my status to an apparent deep-rooted mental and emotional problem.

Concerted efforts by my family ,relatives and friends to have me walk down the isle have bore no fruits; high powered delegations have paid  me courtesy calls and tried to drive sense into my head as to why I should marry but to no avail. 



They say that I have the right education, a good house, a big car, a well paying job, the right looks and the language of convincing but I am yet to introduce them to a prospective better half. My sister , who is seven years my junior, already has two children in high school while my youngest brother has just returned from studies abroad with a degree on the right arm and a fiancée in the left arm.  They have just fallen short of declaring me an outcast and a disgrace to my family. My father has threatened to disown me as his son while my mother as turned to offering prayers for me. In the last general elections, my constituents declined to elect me as their MP on account that I am not married.

I have now decided to address the matter for once and for all. And no, I am not planning to get married. In fact never, unless my concerns are conclusively addressed. Mine is a one-man, silent but steadfast protest against the payment of bride price. Does this practice hold any importance in this day and age? Why should I pay to live with someone else's daughter?  Who does the valuations to come up with a figure to be paid and what are his/ her qualifications? Such are the numerous questions I ask myself to justify my current status.

Some well wisher may get concerned and offer to pay for me but no, thank you. This is a matter of principle and not about the financial implications. Were fairness and justice to be observed I should be the one on the receiving side of this arrangement? Whether you call it bride price, dowry or a ‘token of appreciation ‘ I will always prefer the Hindu system.

Picture this; she moves into my house- dragging almost all her sibling along, becomes a co-owner of my property and adopts my last name. I pay all our bills, educate her sibling, finance her father’s drinking sprees and settler her aunt’s hospital bill. Now tell me who stands to gain more than the other in the long run?

My point however is not to reverse the process but to abolish the system in totality. Which lady is flattered when she sees all her clan elders terrorizing a simple soul over how much she is worth? For long this has been used as a get-rich quick scheme for unscrupulous fathers and brothers!  Marriage is an equal partnership kind of arrangement and therefore there is no justification whatsoever as to why one party should be exploited. I also leave my family who educated, fed and clothed me, to be with her. Why then accord her preferential treatment? Gender equality activists should take this important factor into consideration. 

This is a wake up call to all the like minded out there. It’s time we stood up and fight for our rights. For starters, we can form a lobby group and brand it, Men Against Dowry (MAD).  Yes I am mad. Mad about a society that has no regard for human dignity; a society that equates a wife to a commodity that can be priced. Mad about the impunity exhibited in such cases and also mad about the negligence of our people.

And to all my family relatives and friends who may think that I have become mad, your worst fears are hereby confirmed.  Unless this issue of bride price is done away with, then marriage is definitely not for me.